Dammit GM, why must you do this?

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
06/05/2014 at 15:15 • Filed to: None

For every vehicle that you make that's complete crap, there's one that is absolutely brilliant. The Suburban is one of the latter, and I've fallen in love with it. After driving this '99, I now understand why all the soccer moms get these instead of minivans.

You climb into it thinking that it's just another truck, but it's actually quite plush and passenger oriented. It's probably the third or fourth most comfortable vehicle I've ever driven. The V8 delivers smooth and barely noticeable power, and the electronic transfer case is well implemented if a bit cryptic to use. Features abound, like an auto dimming mirror and separate controls for the rear seat HVAC.

Visibility isn't as bad as you'd think either. The vertical split tailgate does block a bit of the rear view but the window line is very low, the front ones are almost as low as the half-doors in our Jeep and you can practically see the ground immediately under the doors.

DISCUSSION (20)

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:16

Cool trucks, can get them for cheap these days too (assuming 150k miles + doesn't scare you)

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
06/05/2014 at 15:18

150k miles? That's just broken in for those beasts of burden. Now you can go out and yank a tree out of the ground. Grandpa used to use his suburban for that. Always good entertainment.

Manuél Ferrari > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:20

I will own one someday.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
06/05/2014 at 15:22

Cheap! Come buy one!

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/449847…

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/447860…

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/449822…

Nothing > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:24

My '96 Yukon was the biggest lemon I've had the misfortune of owning. When it was running, I loved that truck though. Still one of my favorite vehicles that I've owned and hope to pick up a 2 door Tahoe/Yukon someday to play around with.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Manuél Ferrari
06/05/2014 at 15:24

If I were to get one, I'd get a Tahoe simply because it's smaller and easier to drive.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:25

My cousins had an early 70s Suburban very similar to this one up at their cabin in northern Arizona. That thing was awesome.

Kinja'd!!!

Viggen > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:27

If I ever go to Alaska, I'm buying one of these.

thebigbossyboss > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:28

Ask Opponaut cletus44 about his. I believe it's a 99 also.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:28

I was a passenger in one a couple weeks ago to drop off some sort of party tent 5 or 6 blocks down the street, once we parked, the girl driving it, was like eeermmmeeegeerrrssshhh, I can't back this thing out! I was like me-me-me-me-me-me-me, let me do it! Before anyone could say OK, I was already in the drivers seat "gimme gimme gimme... the keys!"

Anyways, it was a nice ride! I would guess it was roughly a 99 as well.

Backed it out like a boss and then backed it into its home in the drive way as well. They are easy to drive for how large they are, which I find with a lot of SUV's/Pickups because they are square, you know where all your corners are, very easily.

Manuél Ferrari > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:29

I would have a tough time deciding between the two. I would also prefer driving the Tahoe.

But I would be tempted to still go for the Suburban because it can fit more people and it wouldn't be my DD. I like driving little cars. But it would be cool to have one massive car to use when needed.

phenotyp > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:29

Learned how to drive in an '88 Sub, which ten years later my pops replaced with a '98. With the 454, 4WD, towing package, etc. And of course the front bench seat. The next gen Suburban really shat the bed, as far as he was concerned. And when he finally replaced the '98 with a '10, it hung around for less than two years before he got rid of it. No real utility, computer-controlled shit that broke all the time, and the engine (couldn't get the bigass one anymore) was a dog. This gen really is the apogee of Suburban.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:30

You could even get one in 2 door form!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 15:33

My dad had one of these while I was "growing up". He had a 96 2 Door Yukon. He got the 2 door to save 12 inches off the back of it because he had a plowing business.

Great truck, he sold it and bought a brand new Silverado a couple years ago...and misses his Yukon.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Manuél Ferrari
06/05/2014 at 16:33

Wait does the Tahoe not have a third row? I thought it was just the same arrangement as the Caravan/Grand Caravan where you just get more room in the back with the third row in place.

Manuél Ferrari > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 16:36

It does. But you can just fit more stuff overall in the Burb. You can fit a ton of people and a ton of gear in it.

Dar > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 17:05

My folks had a '96 4-door Tahoe and it was a fine vehicle. The glaringly obvious weak link was the brakes. I think they were the same ones fitted to the '96 Chevy Beretta. Driving that thing with those brakes in the SF Bay Area was often a harrowing affair.

That being said, the beast could hold a ton of crap and was a super comfortable long distance cruiser.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 22:44

My dad had a black '99 Tahoe and loved the thing to death. I have love the GMT400 trucks as a whole. They're really nice for what they are.

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
06/05/2014 at 23:54

Drove this for a while:

1997 k2500 454 with vortec supercharger @7 psi

Kinja'd!!!

Tube headers and dual 2 1.2 inch exhaust. Passed anything but a gas station.

Kinja'd!!!

Rough guess puts the hp at 400 and torque at 600 on 91. Seriously doing a burnout once I actually tore up the street a little...ooops.

The interiors on these things were junk though. I have a 97 Land Cruiser with 2x the miles and the interior is holding up 10x better, and we took pretty good care off ours.

The steering was a joke, but the truck always worked and pulled like hell. brakes weren't bad either...except feel. You just had to trust there was enough power there, there always was.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > HammerheadFistpunch
06/05/2014 at 23:59

The interior on the one I drove was in pretty good condition, everything worked fine except for the electric lumbar adjust.